those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
