I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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