yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
