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In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
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