I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
