Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
