me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
