Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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