i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
