I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
