Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
