Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
