look no pants
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
