i was rollin on her like bob the builder
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You left your underwear on the fireplace
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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