I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
honey bunches of taint.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
