I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
