And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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