So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
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The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
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But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
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