Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
