i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
