Will you blow on my dice?
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
