I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
