Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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