dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
