Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
