these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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