I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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