you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
