Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
