Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
This is the high leading the old right now
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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