I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
