next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I cut my penus on the lid.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
