hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
only if we run a train.
done.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
