You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
