Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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