i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
