He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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