Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
