Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
