R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
