We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I have already put on my inside pants.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
