like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
