we have pet lesbian snakes
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize
