btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
