i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize