Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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