I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
