I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
