I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
