Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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