i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
