Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
