it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
