my mouth tastes like poor choices
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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