Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
